Monday, May 21, 2012

Dreams Coming True.

I'm not even sure what's going on anymore.
My life is changing like crazy with each day.
And it's noticeable. Each day is different. Each day I am a different person.
These last three weeks I did an internship at the Rock of Roseville. Three days a week I went to these classes that helped with my relationship with Christ from the basics like organizing my day to the more complex things like the Kalam Cosmological Agruement. Other days we had intensives, and other group activities. Through these three weeks, my life has been flipped. And flipped again. And flipped again. It was crazy! I look back to three weeks ago and I see how stupid some of the stuff I was doing. I saw some of my strengths come out for the first time. He brought up spiritual gifts I didn't know I had. And showed me so much about Him I didn't know. It was such an emotional time, and now that I'm done with it, I am crazy tired, and exhausted, but at the same time, I can look to Him in thanks for all he has given me. Though it also brought up negative things I didn't realize, it was probably some of the best three weeks of my life.
On top of it being a crazy three weeks with the internship, I have been working at a daycare once-three times a week and nannying twice a week. I haven't had a day off except 4th of July, which I had a crazy long day. I've worked or had meetings every day since. Today I have a wedding. "Days off" just aren't an option anymore.
Yesterday was one of the most emotional days for me. I haven't let tears out for a while, and with some stuff that went on yesterday everything let out. And I am so very thankful that I did. There is a new freedom over me, I can feel it. I can't wait to go home, and get rid of these random things that are just chains pulling me down. Three years of storing stuff- time for bonfire! As soon as I get rid of these memories, and notes, and trinkets, I will truly be a free and happy person.

But dreams coming true? What does that even mean? You may be thinking "Emma- what you're saying right now isn't connecting with your title.."

Here: let me connect the dots for you!

What is my dream?
My dream is to go to Africa.
Well guys, I leave for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in 106 days!
Yes. That dream is coming true!

"But Emma, that doesn't make sense with what you said!"

Going to Ethiopia, my life is gonna change. I will be a totally different person when I come back.
Over this last month, I have cleared up and taken care of (I think at least) everything in my past. Why would I want to be a different person and come back to America and have to deal with all the same crap? As of now, I won't. I'm a free being, under God's rule. He's watching over me. And that's all that matters. He will be with me through thick and thin. The only thing I can actually take to Ethiopia with me that I know won't get lost during traveling.

God is my dream.
I want to live my life the way God intended me too.
Now, I can do that.
With all the crap out of the way, I can hear his voice more clear than ever.
And that voice is telling me to go to Africa.

So here I go.

T-106 days.

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